1 William Shakespeare

     2 

     3 All's Well That Ends Well

     4      __________________________________________________________________

     5 

     6 ACT IV

     7 

     8 SCENE I. Without the Florentine camp.

     9 

    10    Enter Second French Lord, with five or six other Soldiers in ambush

    11 

    12    Second Lord

    13 

    14    He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner. When you sally upon

    15    him, speak what terrible language you will: though you understand it

    16    not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to understand him,

    17    unless some one among us whom we must produce for an interpreter.

    18 

    19    First Soldier

    20 

    21    Good captain, let me be the interpreter.

    22 

    23    Second Lord

    24 

    25    Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice?

    26 

    27    First Soldier

    28 

    29    No, sir, I warrant you.

    30 

    31    Second Lord

    32 

    33    But what linsey-woolsey hast thou to speak to us again?

    34 

    35    First Soldier

    36 

    37    E'en such as you speak to me.

    38 

    39    Second Lord

    40 

    41    He must think us some band of strangers i' the adversary's

    42    entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages;

    43    therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy, not to know what

    44    we speak one to another; so we seem to know, is to know straight our

    45    purpose: choughs' language, gabble enough, and good enough. As for you,

    46    interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch, ho! here he comes,

    47    to beguile two hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the lies

    48    he forges.

    49 

    50    Enter Parolles

    51 

    52    Parolles

    53 

    54    Ten o'clock: within these three hours 'twill be time enough to go home.

    55    What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive invention that

    56    carries it: they begin to smoke me; and disgraces have of late knocked

    57    too often at my door. I find my tongue is too foolhardy; but my heart

    58    hath the fear of Mars before it and of his creatures, not daring the

    59    reports of my tongue.

    60 

    61    Second Lord

    62 

    63    This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue was guilty of.

    64 

    65    Parolles

    66 

    67    What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery of this drum,

    68    being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had no such

    69    purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in exploit:

    70    yet slight ones will not carry it; they will say, `Came you off with so

    71    little?' and great ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what's the

    72    instance? Tongue, I must put you into a butter-woman's mouth and buy

    73    myself another of Bajazet's mule, if you prattle me into these perils.

    74 

    75    Second Lord

    76 

    77    Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that he is?

    78 

    79    Parolles

    80 

    81    I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn, or the

    82    breaking of my Spanish sword.

    83 

    84    Second Lord

    85 

    86    We cannot afford you so.

    87 

    88    Parolles

    89 

    90    Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in stratagem.

    91 

    92    Second Lord

    93 

    94    'Twould not do.

    95 

    96    Parolles

    97 

    98    Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.

    99 

   100    Second Lord

   101 

   102    Hardly serve.

   103 

   104    Parolles

   105 

   106    Though I swore I leaped from the window of the citadel.

   107 

   108    Second Lord

   109 

   110    How deep?

   111 

   112    Parolles

   113 

   114    Thirty fathom.

   115 

   116    Second Lord

   117 

   118    Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.

   119 

   120    Parolles

   121 

   122    I would I had any drum of the enemy's: I would swear I recovered it.

   123 

   124    Second Lord

   125 

   126    You shall hear one anon.

   127 

   128    Parolles

   129 

   130    A drum now of the enemy's,--

   131 

   132    Alarum within

   133 

   134    Second Lord

   135 

   136    Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.

   137 

   138    All

   139 

   140    Cargo, cargo, cargo, villiando par corbo, cargo.

   141 

   142    Parolles

   143 

   144    O, ransom, ransom! do not hide mine eyes.

   145 

   146    They seize and blindfold him

   147 

   148    First Soldier

   149 

   150    Boskos thromuldo boskos.

   151 

   152    Parolles

   153 

   154    I know you are the Muskos' regiment:

   155    And I shall lose my life for want of language;

   156    If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch,

   157    Italian, or French, let him speak to me; I'll

   158    Discover that which shall undo the Florentine.

   159 

   160    First Soldier

   161 

   162    Boskos vauvado: I understand thee, and can speak thy tongue. Kerely

   163    bonto, sir, betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards are at thy

   164    bosom.

   165 

   166    Parolles

   167 

   168    O!

   169 

   170    First Soldier

   171 

   172    O, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.

   173 

   174    Second Lord

   175 

   176    Oscorbidulchos volivorco.

   177 

   178    First Soldier

   179 

   180    The general is content to spare thee yet;

   181    And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on

   182    To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform

   183    Something to save thy life.

   184 

   185    Parolles

   186 

   187    O, let me live!

   188    And all the secrets of our camp I'll show,

   189    Their force, their purposes; nay, I'll speak that

   190    Which you will wonder at.

   191 

   192    First Soldier

   193 

   194    But wilt thou faithfully?

   195 

   196    Parolles

   197 

   198    If I do not, damn me.

   199 

   200    First Soldier

   201 

   202    Acordo linta.

   203    Come on; thou art granted space.

   204 

   205    Exit, with Parolles guarded. A short alarum within

   206 

   207    Second Lord

   208 

   209    Go, tell the Count Rousillon, and my brother,

   210    We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled

   211    Till we do hear from them.

   212 

   213    Second Soldier

   214 

   215    Captain, I will.

   216 

   217    Second Lord

   218 

   219    A' will betray us all unto ourselves:

   220    Inform on that.

   221 

   222    Second Soldier

   223 

   224      So I will, sir.

   225 

   226    Second Lord

   227 

   228    Till then I'll keep him dark and safely lock'd.

   229 

   230    Exeunt

   231 

   232 SCENE II. Florence. The Widow's house.

   233 

   234    Enter Bertram and Diana

   235 

   236    Bertram

   237 

   238    They told me that your name was Fontibell.

   239 

   240    Diana

   241 

   242    No, my good lord, Diana.

   243 

   244    Bertram

   245 

   246    Titled goddess;

   247    And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul,

   248    In your fine frame hath love no quality?

   249    If quick fire of youth light not your mind,

   250    You are no maiden, but a monument:

   251    When you are dead, you should be such a one

   252    As you are now, for you are cold and stem;

   253    And now you should be as your mother was

   254    When your sweet self was got.

   255 

   256    Diana

   257 

   258    She then was honest.

   259 

   260    Bertram

   261 

   262    So should you be.

   263 

   264    Diana

   265 

   266    No:

   267    My mother did but duty; such, my lord,

   268    As you owe to your wife.

   269 

   270    Bertram

   271 

   272    No more o' that;

   273    I prithee, do not strive against my vows:

   274    I was compell'd to her; but I love thee

   275    By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever

   276    Do thee all rights of service.

   277 

   278    Diana

   279 

   280    Ay, so you serve us

   281    Till we serve you; but when you have our roses,

   282    You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves

   283    And mock us with our bareness.

   284 

   285    Bertram

   286 

   287    How have I sworn!

   288 

   289    Diana

   290 

   291    'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth,

   292    But the plain single vow that is vow'd true.

   293    What is not holy, that we swear not by,

   294    But take the High'st to witness: then, pray you, tell me,

   295    If I should swear by God's great attributes,

   296    I loved you dearly, would you believe my oaths,

   297    When I did love you ill? This has no holding,

   298    To swear by him whom I protest to love,

   299    That I will work against him: therefore your oaths

   300    Are words and poor conditions, but unseal'd,

   301    At least in my opinion.

   302 

   303    Bertram

   304 

   305    Change it, change it;

   306    Be not so holy-cruel: love is holy;

   307    And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts

   308    That you do charge men with. Stand no more off,

   309    But give thyself unto my sick desires,

   310    Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever

   311    My love as it begins shall so persever.

   312 

   313    Diana

   314 

   315    I see that men make ropes in such a scarre

   316    That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring.

   317 

   318    Bertram

   319 

   320    I'll lend it thee, my dear; but have no power

   321    To give it from me.

   322 

   323    Diana

   324 

   325    Will you not, my lord?

   326 

   327    Bertram

   328 

   329    It is an honour 'longing to our house,

   330    Bequeathed down from many ancestors;

   331    Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world

   332    In me to lose.

   333 

   334    Diana

   335 

   336      Mine honour's such a ring:

   337    My chastity's the jewel of our house,

   338    Bequeathed down from many ancestors;

   339    Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world

   340    In me to lose: thus your own proper wisdom

   341    Brings in the champion Honour on my part,

   342    Against your vain assault.

   343 

   344    Bertram

   345 

   346    Here, take my ring:

   347    My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine,

   348    And I'll be bid by thee.

   349 

   350    Diana

   351 

   352    When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window:

   353    I'll order take my mother shall not hear.

   354    Now will I charge you in the band of truth,

   355    When you have conquer'd my yet maiden bed,

   356    Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me:

   357    My reasons are most strong; and you shall know them

   358    When back again this ring shall be deliver'd:

   359    And on your finger in the night I'll put

   360    Another ring, that what in time proceeds

   361    May token to the future our past deeds.

   362    Adieu, till then; then, fail not. You have won

   363    A wife of me, though there my hope be done.

   364 

   365    Bertram

   366 

   367    A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.

   368 

   369    Exit

   370 

   371    Diana

   372 

   373    For which live long to thank both heaven and me!

   374    You may so in the end.

   375    My mother told me just how he would woo,

   376    As if she sat in 's heart; she says all men

   377    Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me

   378    When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him

   379    When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid,

   380    Marry that will, I live and die a maid:

   381    Only in this disguise I think't no sin

   382    To cozen him that would unjustly win.

   383 

   384    Exit

   385 

   386 SCENE III. The Florentine camp.

   387 

   388    Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers

   389 

   390    First Lord

   391 

   392    You have not given him his mother's letter?

   393 

   394    Second Lord

   395 

   396    I have delivered it an hour since: there is something in't that stings

   397    his nature; for on the reading it he changed almost into another man.

   398 

   399    First Lord

   400 

   401    He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so good a wife

   402    and so sweet a lady.

   403 

   404    Second Lord

   405 

   406    Especially he hath incurred the everlasting displeasure of the king,

   407    who had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you

   408    a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.

   409 

   410    First Lord

   411 

   412    When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the grave of it.

   413 

   414    Second Lord

   415 

   416    He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a most

   417    chaste renown; and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her

   418    honour: he hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself made

   419    in the unchaste composition.

   420 

   421    First Lord

   422 

   423    Now, God delay our rebellion! as we are ourselves, what things are we!

   424 

   425    Second Lord

   426 

   427    Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all treasons,

   428    we still see them reveal themselves, till they attain to their abhorred

   429    ends, so he that in this action contrives against his own nobility, in

   430    his proper stream o'erflows himself.

   431 

   432    First Lord

   433 

   434    Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of our unlawful

   435    intents? We shall not then have his company to-night?

   436 

   437    Second Lord

   438 

   439    Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour.

   440 

   441    First Lord

   442 

   443    That approaches apace; I would gladly have him see his company

   444    anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own judgments, wherein

   445    so curiously he had set this counterfeit.

   446 

   447    Second Lord

   448 

   449    We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence must be the

   450    whip of the other.

   451 

   452    First Lord

   453 

   454    In the mean time, what hear you of these wars?

   455 

   456    Second Lord

   457 

   458    I hear there is an overture of peace.

   459 

   460    First Lord

   461 

   462    Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.

   463 

   464    Second Lord

   465 

   466    What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel higher, or return

   467    again into France?

   468 

   469    First Lord

   470 

   471    I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether of his council.

   472 

   473    Second Lord

   474 

   475    Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great deal of his act.

   476 

   477    First Lord

   478 

   479    Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his house: her pretence

   480    is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand; which holy undertaking with

   481    most austere sanctimony she accomplished; and, there residing the

   482    tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a

   483    groan of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.

   484 

   485    Second Lord

   486 

   487    How is this justified?

   488 

   489    First Lord

   490 

   491    The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her story true,

   492    even to the point of her death: her death itself, which could not be

   493    her office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by the rector of

   494    the place.

   495 

   496    Second Lord

   497 

   498    Hath the count all this intelligence?

   499 

   500    First Lord

   501 

   502    Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from point, so to the full

   503    arming of the verity.

   504 

   505    Second Lord

   506 

   507    I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.

   508 

   509    First Lord

   510 

   511    How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses!

   512 

   513    Second Lord

   514 

   515    And how mightily some other times we drown our gain in tears! The great

   516    dignity that his valour hath here acquired for him shall at home be

   517    encountered with a shame as ample.

   518 

   519    First Lord

   520 

   521    The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together: our

   522    virtues would be proud, if our faults whipped them not; and our crimes

   523    would despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues.

   524 

   525    Enter a Messenger

   526 

   527    How now! where's your master?

   528 

   529    Servant

   530 

   531    He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath taken a solemn

   532    leave: his lordship will next morning for France. The duke hath offered

   533    him letters of commendations to the king.

   534 

   535    Second Lord

   536 

   537    They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more than they

   538    can commend.

   539 

   540    First Lord

   541 

   542    They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness. Here's his lordship

   543    now.

   544 

   545    Enter Bertram

   546 

   547    How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?

   548 

   549    Bertram

   550 

   551    I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, a month's length

   552    a-piece, by an abstract of success: I have congied with the duke, done

   553    my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my

   554    lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy; and between these

   555    main parcels of dispatch effected many nicer needs; the last was the

   556    greatest, but that I have not ended yet.

   557 

   558    Second Lord

   559 

   560    If the business be of any difficulty, and this morning your departure

   561    hence, it requires haste of your lordship.

   562 

   563    Bertram

   564 

   565    I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it hereafter.

   566    But shall we have this dialogue between the fool and the soldier? Come,

   567    bring forth this counterfeit module, he has deceived me, like a

   568    double-meaning prophesier.

   569 

   570    Second Lord

   571 

   572    Bring him forth: has sat i' the stocks all night, poor gallant knave.

   573 

   574    Bertram

   575 

   576    No matter: his heels have deserved it, in usurping his spurs so long.

   577    How does he carry himself?

   578 

   579    Second Lord

   580 

   581    I have told your lordship already, the stocks carry him. But to answer

   582    you as you would be understood; he weeps like a wench that had shed her

   583    milk: he hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a

   584    friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant disaster

   585    of his setting i' the stocks: and what think you he hath confessed?

   586 

   587    Bertram

   588 

   589    Nothing of me, has a'?

   590 

   591    Second Lord

   592 

   593    His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face: if your

   594    lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the patience to

   595    hear it.

   596 

   597    Enter Parolles guarded, and First Soldier

   598 

   599    Bertram

   600 

   601    A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of me: hush, hush!

   602 

   603    First Lord

   604 

   605    Hoodman comes! Portotartarosa

   606 

   607    First Soldier

   608 

   609    He calls for the tortures: what will you say without 'em?

   610 

   611    Parolles

   612 

   613    I will confess what I know without constraint: if ye pinch me like a

   614    pasty, I can say no more.

   615 

   616    First Soldier

   617 

   618    Bosko chimurcho.

   619 

   620    First Lord

   621 

   622    Boblibindo chicurmurco.

   623 

   624    First Soldier

   625 

   626    You are a merciful general. Our general bids you answer to what I shall

   627    ask you out of a note.

   628 

   629    Parolles

   630 

   631    And truly, as I hope to live.

   632 

   633    First Soldier

   634 

   635    [Reads] `First demand of him how many horse the duke is strong.' What

   636    say you to that?

   637 

   638    Parolles

   639 

   640    Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable: the troops are

   641    all scattered, and the commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation

   642    and credit and as I hope to live.

   643 

   644    First Soldier

   645 

   646    Shall I set down your answer so?

   647 

   648    Parolles

   649 

   650    Do: I'll take the sacrament on't, how and which way you will.

   651 

   652    Bertram

   653 

   654    All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!

   655 

   656    First Lord

   657 

   658    You're deceived, my lord: this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant

   659    militarist,--that was his own phrase,--that had the whole theoric of

   660    war in the knot of his scarf, and the practise in the chape of his

   661    dagger.

   662 

   663    Second Lord

   664 

   665    I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean. nor believe

   666    he can have every thing in him by wearing his apparel neatly.

   667 

   668    First Soldier

   669 

   670    Well, that's set down.

   671 

   672    Parolles

   673 

   674    Five or six thousand horse, I said,-- I will say true,--or thereabouts,

   675    set down, for I'll speak truth.

   676 

   677    First Lord

   678 

   679    He's very near the truth in this.

   680 

   681    Bertram

   682 

   683    But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he delivers it.

   684 

   685    Parolles

   686 

   687    Poor rogues, I pray you, say.

   688 

   689    First Soldier

   690 

   691    Well, that's set down.

   692 

   693    Parolles

   694 

   695    I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellous

   696    poor.

   697 

   698    First Soldier

   699 

   700    [Reads] `Demand of him, of what strength they are a-foot.' What say you

   701    to that?

   702 

   703    Parolles

   704 

   705    By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will tell

   706    true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty; Sebastian, so many;

   707    Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and

   708    Gratii, two hundred and fifty each; mine own company, Chitopher,

   709    Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and fifty each: so that the muster-file,

   710    rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand poll;

   711    half of the which dare not shake snow from off their cassocks, lest

   712    they shake themselves to pieces.

   713 

   714    Bertram

   715 

   716    What shall be done to him?

   717 

   718    First Lord

   719 

   720    Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition, and what

   721    credit I have with the duke.

   722 

   723    First Soldier

   724 

   725    Well, that's set down.

   726 

   727    [Reads] `You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain be i' the

   728    camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the duke; what his

   729    valour, honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he thinks it were

   730    not possible, with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to

   731    revolt.' What say you to this? what do you know of it?

   732 

   733    Parolles

   734 

   735    I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the inter'gatories:

   736    demand them singly.

   737 

   738    First Soldier

   739 

   740    Do you know this Captain Dumain?

   741 

   742    Parolles

   743 

   744    I know him: a' was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris, from whence he was

   745    whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child,--a dumb innocent,

   746    that could not say him nay.

   747 

   748    Bertram

   749 

   750    Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know his brains are

   751    forfeit to the next tile that falls.

   752 

   753    First Soldier

   754 

   755    Well, is this captain in the duke of Florence's camp?

   756 

   757    Parolles

   758 

   759    Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.

   760 

   761    First Lord

   762 

   763    Nay look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship anon.

   764 

   765    First Soldier

   766 

   767    What is his reputation with the duke?

   768 

   769    Parolles

   770 

   771    The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and writ to

   772    me this other day to turn him out o' the band: I think I have his

   773    letter in my pocket.

   774 

   775    First Soldier

   776 

   777    Marry, we'll search.

   778 

   779    Parolles

   780 

   781    In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there, or it is upon a

   782    file with the duke's other letters in my tent.

   783 

   784    First Soldier

   785 

   786    Here 'tis; here's a paper: shall I read it to you?

   787 

   788    Parolles

   789 

   790    I do not know if it be it or no.

   791 

   792    Bertram

   793 

   794    Our interpreter does it well.

   795 

   796    First Lord

   797 

   798    Excellently.

   799 

   800    First Soldier

   801 

   802    [Reads] `Dian, the count's a fool, and full of gold,'--

   803 

   804    Parolles

   805 

   806    That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement to a

   807    proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of

   808    one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish:

   809    I pray you, sir, put it up again.

   810 

   811    First Soldier

   812 

   813    Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.

   814 

   815    Parolles

   816 

   817    My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the maid;

   818    for I knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is

   819    a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it finds.

   820 

   821    Bertram

   822 

   823    Damnable both-sides rogue!

   824 

   825    First Soldier

   826 

   827    [Reads] `When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;

   828    After he scores, he never pays the score:

   829    Half won is match well made; match, and well make it;

   830    He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;

   831    And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,

   832    Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss:

   833    For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,

   834    Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.

   835    Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,

   836    Parolles.'

   837 

   838    Bertram

   839 

   840    He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in's forehead.

   841 

   842    Second Lord

   843 

   844    This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist and the

   845    armipotent soldier.

   846 

   847    Bertram

   848 

   849    I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me.

   850 

   851    First Soldier

   852 

   853    I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall be fain to hang you.

   854 

   855    Parolles

   856 

   857    My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to die; but that, my

   858    offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature: let me

   859    live, sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or any where, so I may live.

   860 

   861    First Soldier

   862 

   863    We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore, once more

   864    to this Captain Dumain: you have answered to his reputation with the

   865    duke and to his valour: what is his honesty?

   866 

   867    Parolles

   868 

   869    He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for rapes and ravishments

   870    he parallels Nessus: he professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking 'em

   871    he is stronger than Hercules: he will lie, sir, with such volubility,

   872    that you would think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue,

   873    for he will be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little harm, save

   874    to his bed-clothes about him; but they know his conditions and lay him

   875    in straw. I have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has

   876    every thing that an honest man should not have; what an honest man

   877    should have, he has nothing.

   878 

   879    First Lord

   880 

   881    I begin to love him for this.

   882 

   883    Bertram

   884 

   885    For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for me, he's more

   886    and more a cat.

   887 

   888    First Soldier

   889 

   890    What say you to his expertness in war?

   891 

   892    Parolles

   893 

   894    Faith, sir, he has led the drum before the English tragedians; to belie

   895    him, I will not, and more of his soldiership I know not; except, in

   896    that country he had the honour to be the officer at a place there

   897    called Mile-end, to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the

   898    man what honour I can, but of this I am not certain.

   899 

   900    First Lord

   901 

   902    He hath out-villained villany so far, that the rarity redeems him.

   903 

   904    Bertram

   905 

   906    A pox on him, he's a cat still.

   907 

   908    First Soldier

   909 

   910    His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if gold

   911    will corrupt him to revolt.

   912 

   913    Parolles

   914 

   915    Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation,

   916    the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from all remainders, and a

   917    perpetual succession for it perpetually.

   918 

   919    First Soldier

   920 

   921    What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?

   922 

   923    Second Lord

   924 

   925    Why does be ask him of me?

   926 

   927    First Soldier

   928 

   929    What's he?

   930 

   931    Parolles

   932 

   933    E'en a crow o' the same nest; not altogether so great as the first in

   934    goodness, but greater a great deal in evil: he excels his brother for a

   935    coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is: in a

   936    retreat he outruns any lackey; marry, in coming on he has the cramp.

   937 

   938    First Soldier

   939 

   940    If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine?

   941 

   942    Parolles

   943 

   944    Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.

   945 

   946    First Soldier

   947 

   948    I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure.

   949 

   950    Parolles

   951 

   952    [Aside] I'll no more drumming; a plague of all drums! Only to seem to

   953    deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that lascivious young

   954    boy the count, have I run into this danger. Yet who would have

   955    suspected an ambush where I was taken?

   956 

   957    First Soldier

   958 

   959    There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the general says, you that

   960    have so traitorously discovered the secrets of your army and made such

   961    pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can serve the world for no

   962    honest use; therefore you must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.

   963 

   964    Parolles

   965 

   966    O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!

   967 

   968    First Lord

   969 

   970    That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.

   971 

   972    Unblinding him

   973 

   974    So, look about you: know you any here?

   975 

   976    Bertram

   977 

   978    Good morrow, noble captain.

   979 

   980    Second Lord

   981 

   982    God bless you, Captain Parolles.

   983 

   984    First Lord

   985 

   986    God save you, noble captain.

   987 

   988    Second Lord

   989 

   990    Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu? I am for France.

   991 

   992    First Lord

   993 

   994    Good captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ to Diana

   995    in behalf of the Count Rousillon? an I were not a very coward, I'ld

   996    compel it of you: but fare you well.

   997 

   998    Exeunt Bertram and Lords

   999 

  1000    First Soldier

  1001 

  1002    You are undone, captain, all but your scarf; that has a knot on't yet

  1003 

  1004    Parolles

  1005 

  1006    Who cannot be crushed with a plot?

  1007 

  1008    First Soldier

  1009 

  1010    If you could find out a country where but women were that had received

  1011    so much shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir; I

  1012    am for France too: we shall speak of you there.

  1013 

  1014    Exit with Soldiers

  1015 

  1016    Parolles

  1017 

  1018    Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great,

  1019    'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;

  1020    But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft

  1021    As captain shall: simply the thing I am

  1022    Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,

  1023    Let him fear this, for it will come to pass

  1024    that every braggart shall be found an ass.

  1025    Rust, sword? cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live

  1026    Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive!

  1027    There's place and means for every man alive.

  1028    I'll after them.

  1029 

  1030    Exit

  1031 

  1032 SCENE IV. Florence. The Widow's house.

  1033 

  1034    Enter Helena, Widow, and Diana

  1035 

  1036    Helena

  1037 

  1038    That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you,

  1039    One of the greatest in the Christian world

  1040    Shall be my surety; 'fore whose throne 'tis needful,

  1041    Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel:

  1042    Time was, I did him a desired office,

  1043    Dear almost as his life; which gratitude

  1044    Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth,

  1045    And answer, thanks: I duly am inform'd

  1046    His grace is at Marseilles; to which place

  1047    We have convenient convoy. You must know

  1048    I am supposed dead: the army breaking,

  1049    My husband hies him home; where, heaven aiding,

  1050    And by the leave of my good lord the king,

  1051    We'll be before our welcome.

  1052 

  1053    Widow

  1054 

  1055    Gentle madam,

  1056    You never had a servant to whose trust

  1057    Your business was more welcome.

  1058 

  1059    Helena

  1060 

  1061    Nor you, mistress,

  1062    Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour

  1063    To recompense your love: doubt not but heaven

  1064    Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower,

  1065    As it hath fated her to be my motive

  1066    And helper to a husband. But, O strange men!

  1067    That can such sweet use make of what they hate,

  1068    When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts

  1069    Defiles the pitchy night: so lust doth play

  1070    With what it loathes for that which is away.

  1071    But more of this hereafter. You, Diana,

  1072    Under my poor instructions yet must suffer

  1073    Something in my behalf.

  1074 

  1075    Diana

  1076 

  1077    Let death and honesty

  1078    Go with your impositions, I am yours

  1079    Upon your will to suffer.

  1080 

  1081    Helena

  1082 

  1083    Yet, I pray you:

  1084    But with the word the time will bring on summer,

  1085    When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns,

  1086    And be as sweet as sharp. We must away;

  1087    Our wagon is prepared, and time revives us:

  1088    All's well that ends well; still the fine's the crown;

  1089    Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.

  1090 

  1091    Exeunt

  1092 

  1093 SCENE V. Rousillon. The Count's palace.

  1094 

  1095    Enter Countess, Lafeu, and Clown

  1096 

  1097    Lafeu

  1098 

  1099    No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there,

  1100    whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbaked and doughy

  1101    youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at

  1102    this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced by the king than by

  1103    that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of.

  1104 

  1105    Countess

  1106 

  1107    I would I had not known him; it was the death of the most virtuous

  1108    gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating. If she had

  1109    partaken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I

  1110    could not have owed her a more rooted love.

  1111 

  1112    Lafeu

  1113 

  1114    'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand salads ere

  1115    we light on such another herb.

  1116 

  1117    Clown

  1118 

  1119    Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or rather, the

  1120    herb of grace.

  1121 

  1122    Lafeu

  1123 

  1124    They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs.

  1125 

  1126    Clown

  1127 

  1128    I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in grass.

  1129 

  1130    Lafeu

  1131 

  1132    Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool?

  1133 

  1134    Clown

  1135